All about me

This isn't necessary but I wanna do it, I did do a little about me video before on YouTube but it was so crap that I have just deleted it. Now I want to do a new one but my camera has just died and I don't have any batteries spare - hate when that happens.
So this is why I am doing it on here :)

Well my name is Helen, and I get called shorty as I am the shortest one in my family (bet you didn't guess that huh? :P), I am 21 but coming up to 22 in march so that makes me a Piscean. I live on the borders of Scotland, berwick-upon-tweed and if you search up that town on wiki you can find a little history about the place.
I am a Celtic shamanic hedgewitch and I have been a medium for about 4 years now and a level 1 reiki practitioner for about a year. I love making bath and body products also love to play world of warcraft (for the horde).
I have two health conditions, hyper mobility syndrome and the start of rheumatoid arthritis, which kinda sucks for the hobbies that I love to do.
I love music, especially rock and heavy metal but also like other types as well, not so keen on jazz or country.
I love learning about religion and cultures and their histories.

and I think that is pretty much all I think of at the moment. So yea that is who I am :)

Am I back to my old self again?

Lets hope I am!
These last 3 months have been very odd for me, everything I did in my path, craft and meditation gave me these nasty headaches. So I got a spiritual reading done and found out that nature, my guides etc were trying to stop me so I could rest for the solstice to come. I did what I was told, even though it was driving me nuts!

So now the solstice is here I thought great, now I can meditate, but nope still got the headache. I took some pain killers and tried again, the headache got worse and I ended up asking the question on Yahoo!Answers. Someone kindly answered the question saying, stop trying to do it and ask your angels, God(s), guides (whatever you believe in) to help and heal you, listen to yourself and follow where you go, so I took his advice and after 15 mins I feel great! I am so pleased that I managed to meditate ^_^ Yeah I got the headache still but it doesn't seem as bad as what it used to be (plus if its near my time of month, I normally do get headaches..grr).

But yes, hopefully I can start being my old self again, yay!

Winter incense

So I finally made my winter solstice incense! The problem was that I didn't have any herbs that all the recipes were asking for, so I made my own, and it smells so good that I just want to eat it! lol




The incense is
2 teaspoons of dried sage
1 teaspoon of chamomile
1 whole nutmeg
1 small orange peel.

Hopefully I will be able to make more incense next year, just need to find some containers big enough. :) Yay

Understanding why

Was going to make a video about this but the words just wouldn't come out, so maybe sometime later, I dunno.
Anyways if you watch my YouTube channel you will know that I have gone for a bit. I was feeling depressed that I couldn't make certain videos, that I couldn't do my divination or meditation anymore..Everything around me was telling me to stop, so I did. I will be back to making videos in January, but hopefully my usual day to day things will happen on or after winter solstice.

Right on to what this entry was actually about..

I feel that I know why everything was stopping me, especially with making videos...I was trying too hard to be someone that I am not. I saw every ones videos and how good they were, managing to make to record them and be so good at it. I just wanted to look like that. But I am different from them, it takes me a bit more time to understand things, I say things differently to what other people would say and that confuses people. I am not slow I am just awkward lol!
So yea, I think I might go back to basics and just start from there really.

Typical me

Why is it when its spring/summer or autumn I never feel the urge to order the ingredients or the containers I need, and I don't feel up to making anything. But when winter comes along and everything is closing for Christmas, I get the energy to do things? It is so frustrating!
So I'm sitting here trying to get my mind away from it, but its not working at all, lol.

In a previous entry I told you that I had made the bath bombs, but I never showed any photos..So I'm going to show you them now lol.

Sorry if the photos are not the best quality, they were taken by a web cam..But as you can see they are not the full ball size, like you see in shops. These are just little mini bath bombs, which I kind of like better than the normal size.

So what you think? Did I make a good job of them? :P

Winter Solstice

So before I start going on about 2010 I really should make a post about winter solstice. I haven't made a blog about the festivals in ages so I thought I should make this one :P

I haven't really got anything planned, just meditation (hopefully), lighting some incense, giving thanks to the land for all the warmth and food it has offered to us. Also putting back into the ground the acorns and conkers from Samhain. I normally celebrate winter solstice on the 21st December or when the full moon is (which I think is on the 31st December), so I think I will be celebrating at both times..If that makes any sense.

I do also celebrate Christmas (you should all know when that is), why? Because of my parents, my family. They have always celebrated it and I did when I was little and so it still stays. To me Christmas is a time to be thankful for those who are alive, like your family, friends, neighbours etc.

But anyways, in case I am not on here for winter solstice or Christmas (and if anyone reads this) I hope you all have a wonderful day :) Also I hope you all have a wonderful New Year. :)

Goals for 2010

So its nearly a new year, cant believe it. Time has gone by so fast it doesn't feel like it should be the end of the year, only the beginning.
I know I ain't done that much this year, only learning, researching and finally starting to understand who I am.
So what I am hoping will happen in 2010:

• Find and understand even more about myself
• Start making more body scrubs, bath bombs, bath oils
• Learn how to make soap, body lotion, herbal teas
• Learn Ogham, rune, I ching divination
• Understand more about my path
• And finally get my herbalism course finished!

There is thousand more things that I want to achieve, but I feel like I should start small..Ok the list doesn't seem small, but believe you me this is a small list!
I have chosen these things because I feel these take up the most energy, and I want to get these "out of the way" so I can restore my energy and feel better about myself, instead of regretting that I never did these.

My favourite book at the moment

Shamanism by Leo Rutherford
My partner got me this book a few months back, and I put it on the pile with the other books that I had to read. But that same week I couldn't stop thinking about that book, so stopped reading a Edain McCoy book and got stuck in with this one. And I can not put this book down! For people who want a brief introduction to shamanism then I really do suggest this book, it isn't that heavy to read. He has put it into nice little paragraphs so you don't feel like you are reading an essay.
So yes this book is an amazingly good book to read! :)

Stressed out

These past few months seem to be going really fast and busy, I havent had much time to actually get intouch with my spiritual side, its annoying me as that is what I wanted to do before the new year but I guess there is a meaning for that.

I have finally made the bath bombs and they came out really well, my partner tried one and well it skimmed across the surface of the bath water instead of going to the bottom and fizzing, guess I put too much energy into them lol!
Also made the body scrubs and bath bombs, really pleased with them also. I also made some soap but I dont know about them, they dont seem to be getting hard just staying soft ish, hopefully they will be ok.
Gotten most of the Christmas presents sorted out, just need a few more for people but they are so difficult to get!

Also trying to get some photos printed of for my Nan as she cant get here so I thought to show her what it looks like, also a few photos of her great grandsons. The only problem is I dont really know how to print them off as they also end up having half of the photo on, so its annoying me slowly.

I have been pretty stressed with getting all of this sorted out trying to dodge the flipping postal strikes also which doesnt help at all. >_<
I havent really had time to celebrate Samhain either which has annoyed me the most as its one of my favourite festivals, plus I wanted to celebrate my late loved ones life. Tonight is the last day (I celebrate Samhain for 3 days, either on 1st Nov or when the full moon is), so I am really hoping to get things ready for tonight.

I have a list high long in my head and on paper that I need to do but it never seems to be getting smaller, but I am trying to take a break from worrying and stressing about it, its just really hard to do so when you are a worry freak! >_<
Anyways I think I should stop writing now :P

Thinking

Well I thought to come on here again and just let my thoughts run wild..
I have just been thinking about 2010, and what is gonna happen in that year and so on. I really want to try and get somewhere with this online shop that I hope to make, I need more practise at making the items, so maybe that is whats gonna happen..me getting my hands in there and actually doing these things.
We have just bought a sowing machine so I can start making little pouches etc, which will be great as I always need a pouch for something, lol.
I have found how to make things, the recipes, all I need to do is actually make the damn thing! But I guess I will have more succuss by taking my time...I hope.

Also I have thought about making candles for the shop, the wax that is left from the other candles will be turned into a new candle, this will help me get used to selling things and see if this is what I actually want to do.

Well that is it for me, I dont want to think about this anymore as its making me feel down as I cant do anything just yet....On the good note, I have managed to make the bath oils for my 2 mum in laws :D

I got something in the mail

Yay I got the gifts from Annika (princessannikki). I am in love with every single gift she gave me, I especially love the card she made..I have always loved her artwork ^_^
I will add the video here..just waiting for it to upload..1:26 til it does, urgh..but its worth it :P
I have already had the oil burning, it smells so good, it actually made the whole house smell nice!
Ive put the roses in a glass vase on my windowsill and they seem to look good there :P I am really happy with them, I love roses they are one of my favourite flowers. I just love every single thing that I got! :D

Yay the video is finally uploaded!

Through my mind right now

How do I get to know myself?
How do I connect with the person inside of me?
How do I find what I am all about?

These questions and more are running through my head, I dont even know where to start. I have tried to do this before but I never get far, but now I really want to do this as I feel myself sinking deeper into the ocean..
Maybe I need to meditate more but there has to be something else to help me right?
I feel so out of focus right now..Maybe it is because I havent gotten my altar set up? But that wouldnt make me feel like this, right?
Or is there something else that is holding me back?

Argh I need to get this all sorted out soon, it has gone on for too long now..almost 5 years, I need to sort myself out.

The Sun and the Moon

Been watching a lot of videos on youtube about the moon and the sun, it has been very interesting hearing other peoples views about them..The only annoying thing is that I got annoyed when watching a few of them. I guess I just forgot that my views are different from theirs >.<
Anyways here is what I think of the moon and sun. (Might make this a video some day)

Sun.
I see the sun as a female, our Goddess, our great mother. The reason for this is because of the rays of sunlight she shines down onto us, the life and support she gives to us. We need sunlight to live, to grow, to be healthy. Just what a mother tries to give us.

Moon.
I see the moon as male, our God, our great father. The reason I believe this is because he is there to support the sun, he lets her rest and watches us while she is watching her other children. We need the moon as much as we need the sun, too much sun can kill us, but so can too much darkness. We wouldn't get the right things into our system. He also gives us support and also shines down his energies to help us.

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They are probably the main points on what I think about the sun and moon..I cant really think of anything else at this moment, but if I do I'll just edit this and add it in :P

Anyways that is all I really wanted to say :)
Blessed Be.

Videos + Supports

Haha I know I said I was taking a break from youtube, even though I have uploaded a bunch of new videos. They are more addressed to everyone, asking them their views and what they think of certain things. As I am in that curious mood at the moment...

As Im not focusing on making videos about "how to" or videos on spirits, I am feeling more better in myself, I am taking my time with understanding who I am, what goes on in my mind and things like that..It actually feels good that Im not stressing on making those sort of videos. Maybe next year I will be able to start again with them, but who knows.

I probably am gonna upload more question videos as it seems interesting and it makes people think about things and all that :P

Oh I got my supports last week, yay! They feel weird but that might be because Im not used to wearing something that is so light but is helping me. My last supports were made out of wetsuit material, and they were bloody heavy >_<, the new ones are made out of cotton so my hands can breathe lol.

Anyways, this is all I wanted to say right now.

A break from youtube

Mic has broken so I wont be able to make videos for a while..But I guess that is a good thing. It gives me a chance to actually concentrate on myself and whats happening with my life. Ive been so focused on trying to make videos to help others that I have forgotten to help myself.

Also it gives me a chance to practise making things, like the bath and body set that Im hoping to have ready for Christmas (for my mum in-laws). I am hoping to start getting things and making them next week.

I'll still be writing on here, so you aint got rid of me just yet :P

Celtic shamanic hedgewitch

I have been trying to make a video about this, but I cant seem to get it done so I'm gonna put it here.

As you all know I have been trying to find what path I belong to, I have had a bunch of emotions thrown at me along the way, at times I thought about giving up and just carry on with my practices. But I didn't feel right with giving up, I never give up until something serious stops me.
So I carried on with searching, I still felt strong about being a hedge witch but couldn't find anything on how to work with it. One night it occurred to me when reading "Celtic shaman by John Matthews", what are the three paths that I feel close with? Celtic, Shamanism and hedge witchery, why do I have to choose between them? Why cant I follow all. Celtic Shamanic Hedge witch, that is what I came with. It feels right to me and right now I couldn't care less if it wasn't an actual path or if it is "wrong", it is right to me.
Maybe my path will change in another 10 years, I don't know. But that is the whole point in learning, growing and evolving. Your mind and feelings change to what is best for you, and at this point in my life that path feels the best for me.

I do feel different, when I woke the next day I felt refreshed and like it was an actual new day for me. I wasn't feeling moody or exhausted all day I wanted to do things.

So yes, I have found my path, Celtic shamanic hedge witch. That is what I am, and I know it wont be easy, I will still have my ups and downs but that is life. :)

Grrr

Trying to make videos for youtube is bloody hard right now, argh!
The words wont come out of my mouth when I press record!

This and That

Hello!
Feel like I havent been on here in a long time, so I thought to say hello.

I am thinking about making 2 new blog sites, one for my weight blog and the other one for the spirit events. I know I do videos about them on youtube, but I feel like I should have a blog for them, for when I cant get to the computer or for those who cannot understand what the hell I say lol! Plus I wanna share some recipes with people, but I cant seem to make the video - I always get bored by the time windows media maker loads up.
The only problem is trying to figure out a name for them, everything I think of is often taken so it takes me a few days to find a name lol.

I am hoping to make some more videos on youtube soon, just finding the time to do it, also I am hoping to make soap soon - Yay, just need to get some sweet almond oil >.<

Hair

Grr silly hairdresser who doesnt look at the style I wanted and just makes it up!
The photo the right is how I wanted it, and all she gave me was a trim! Now I have to quickly find someone else (who will actually listen and advise me whats best) before wednesday as I am going to a wedding then and I want my hair nice for it.

Also Im a little worried about my hair..It already is thin but it used to be really full and thick, now its dead, dull and is really getting thin. My hair keeps falling out aswell, not in big lumps but just every second it falls out. Ok I know hair falls out all the time, but not like this. My clothes are covered in my hair just from one day of wearing them - I dont think thats normal.
Maybe Im just overreacting and need to stop worrying about this.

My Path

For 10 years I have been wondering what my path is. Yes I am a Hedge witch but there feels like there should be something else. As I have seen Hedge witches who are Wiccan etc. So what is the path that helps me to enhance my abilities with my Hedge craft?
I have looked at all (well the ones I could remember/know off) the traditions, I couldn't find anything that felt close to me, the feeling that makes you jump inside..Apart from one. Celtic Shamanism.

The issue now is finding information about it. I keep going back to the same pages, and wondering if anyone has heard of Celtic Shamanism and if they could give me some info on it.

I have never felt this confused yet happy before. Its very strange, sometimes I look outside and think that there have been all these signs telling me that Celtic Shamanism has always been apart of me as well as Hedge witchery, and other times I wonder if there has ever been such a thing.
The positive side is weighing down the negative side, so I am starting to think maybe this is the next chapter to my life, after so long in searching and waiting to find my path, I think I am beginning to see it.

Soap mad!

Hmmm, getting very temptated to make some soap...Just need to find some cheesecloth or something like that..
I have no idea where to get it from! I dont even think anyone around here sells it, so Im gonna have to search online for a decent price >_<
Do I have to use cheesecloth or is there something else I could use instead? (its just basically to keep the soap nice and dry)
When I do make the soap I will make sure I show a photo on here, as it will be my first time making it :D So excited!

Celtic Tradition

I have been trying to find what tradition I pratice, and cannot believe how many there is. I am really wanting to know more about Celtic traditions, but cannot find that much information. I dont know if this is my calling, but its making me more curious as I cant find anything.

So Im wondering if anyone knows any sites, or books or something that can help me with find more about Celtic Tradition.

Look what I made

Tonight I was flicking through the sites that I had bookmarked and found one that showed you how to make poppets out of cling film. So I thought I would give it a go...
It didn't turn out how I expected, but for my first try I think its pretty good lol!
Also the cling film that I used doesn't seem to stick together, so he is slowly falling apart..
Ah well, at least I tried :)

Yay

I have started to feel like my old self again, full of joy with being involved with the craft and my path. I think the problem was that I was spending too much time researching, trying to find answers that I lost what I joyed most about it.
So I have started to do my daily rituals again and daily meditation, and I feel great! I know now why I wasn't getting the answers from the net and books, I have to find it for myself through my craft, doing it myself instead of researching it all the time.
I cant believe how relaxed I have came by understanding this, I'm so happy with it :)
I know there is a long way to go before I have truly found myself but I am starting to see a dim light at the end of this dark tunnel I have been in.

New passion - Smudge feathers/fans

As the title says, I have found a new passion for Smudge feathers/fans. I am finding them so wonderful and amazing, and have been finding a lot of feathers on the ground lately which may be a sign for me to start learning how to make them (No bird was harmed when collecting the feathers BTW).
I sort of understand how to make them, but cannot find a site that actually tells you how - very annoying yet very challenging ;)

On another note, I am slowly finding jars and the ingredients for my other products that I hope to make. I really need to start getting them in soon as I want to give them to my partners mothers.
I will post another topic on that on a later date when I have actually made them and such :)

Videos

There are a lot of videos I want to do right now, but certain things are stopping me, it is getting annoying but I am gonna accept it and just get on with the personal issues and concentrating with my course work.

I may do one video soon, I just remembered a spirit event that I don't think I have talked about yet, so that one will be coming up soon :P.

I also feel like I should step away from YouTube at the moment, not because of the drama that has been happening, but just to sort myself out. Reconnect with who I am, as I feel like I have drifted away from myself and all my joys in life, especially with my craft! I haven't touched my BoS because I feel so negative - but I don't know why I do.
I'm not gonna delete my account, just put everything on hold. Who knows I may come back with more information and new experiences to talk about :).
I will keep this blog updated as well, I wouldn't dare leave this! This place lets me think and allows me to put my thoughts somewhere ;).

Also this is driving me crazy, I have seen a couple of blogs with their YouTube videos on here, not in the actual blog but along the side, like they have added a gadget to put them on here, I cant seem to do that, I have searched for a gadget but I cant find anything and its getting me so annoyed lol, so if anyone knows what I'm talking about and how to add it please reply to this!
Thank you :)
xxx

Our pets

How gorgeous is he? This is Hamlet, our cat..well really my sisters but we class him as "ours". He is so friendly and loves to lie on your lap and just purr away..and if he doesnt want anymore fuss he tries to bite you lol (in a nice way :P). He has a few wounds on his head and under his chin, which Im not gonna show as its a bit nasty, but you can see the one on his head slightly. Anyways they are getting better so that is good, we still dont know how he got them as he was like that when we first got him. He is 3 years old.
He can never replace Tom but sure is trying his best to.




And this is Chole, our mad dog lol. She seriously is mad :P in a lovely way though. We must have had her for 12 years or more, and she still has a lot of life left in her. One thing she does to get our attention is the "party piece" which is her rolling around on her back, legs in the air making a lot of noise and enjoying herself. All of a sudden she will stop as she knows someone is watching her lol.
She is afraid of other small dogs but when it comes to the bigger ones, she thinks she can take it on! I never understood that.
But yes this is Chole, and I love her to bits!

Catch up on things

Well the cravings seem to have calmed down now lol, as I am reading the other books more now.
Just finished Hedgewitch in the Cauldron of Avalon by M. Sylvan Saille it is a good book, and it doesnt confuse you with all the information as it is only a 100 pages long, I am wondering if I want her other book. The nice thing about her books is that they are handbound, which makes it a little bit more special (imo).

Anyways enough with books otherwise I will get the cravings back :P

It seems to be getting more nice outside with the sun blazing atm, 3 days in a row without rain and it feels so lovely but at the same time annoying as I hurt more in the sun, plus Im ginger (Ginger + sun = BAD)..
Also I need to get started on doing my herbalism course, I know I dont have a deadline for it but its been nearly 2 months and I havent even touched it >_<, and its only the first 3 lessons.

Aswell as that Im trying to get back to doing some spiritual events/work on youtube as that was my main intention on making that channel - to help others in understanding more about spirits. One problem is, all my knowledge seems to fly away everytime I touch "record". So I think I should write the basics down for each video lol. Even though I never wanted to do that as I feel like Im a robot =/

Well Im going to go and charge my batteries up for later on (when its more cooler) so I can go for a walk or something like that.

So speak soon :)

I have a book addiction lol, I cant stop buying books!

Well I have been trying to stop buying them for a month now, so people know what to get me for christmas as I never know what I want..I didnt realise how much I was addicted to books until now. I am getting cravings for them and having the urge to buy some but I know I shouldnt.
I am trying to buy other things like herbs, oils, crystals to get my mind of from books but oh know it aint happening!
I have a lot of books to get through, and I am reading them all and always re reading them I cant stand seeing them on the self collecting dust! Its not fair on them lol (I know that sounds odd but its the way I am).

But I just gotta get through it, I am hoping I can just I can feel myself starting to break..It totally sucks!

Also on my youtube channel, with the show and tells I am gonna start doing them monthly instead of weekly, it just seems to make more sense that way. :)

Blessed Be!
xxx

This and that

Been such a long time since I have posted anything in here, so here goes :)

Well I have been mostly on YouTube everyday and as well as world of warcraft - but I seem to have settled down on that.. Also been looking at buying ingredients for the bath bombs etc, as well as finding new things to make like Dream pillows and loose incense.
Bought most of the herbs I needed for them two things as well as the oils. My first two "customers" are gonna be my boyfriends mums (His dads partner and his actually mum - in case people got confused)..So I need to get practicing for Christmas coming up!

Anyways, I keep making videos on YouTube saying that I will make this video and that video..but they never get made SO, I am gonna make a reminder of which videos I should start focusing on soon.


The videos:
Info on panic attacks/anxiety(Sp?)
Herbs that help panic/anxiety attacks/ways to help reduce them
Where I like to walk
The field where the girls were

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So That is basically what has been happening with me. I will (hopefully) keep updating this more often, and will try and upload some photos of the finished products before I wrap them up for Christmas lol :)

Click for my youtube channel :) Subscribe/leave comments if you wish!

New Passion - Bath Bombs!

Hello all, I have found a new passion lol, and its bath bombs.
I have found out how to make them, and I am getting so many ideas of what I want to do with them.
I'm gonna hold fire with the site, and just experiment with these and the candles, and what ever else I plan on making. I want to have the passion for them and enjoy myself with them instead of stressing myself out with trying to get everything done.
I challenged myself too much and pretty much forgot why I was doing this. Yes I want to make a bit of money but at the same time I want to see people happy with the products and to be getting some kind of help from them..

I will keep updating this and showing what Ive done, I'm not giving up but just stepping back a bit.

All new beginnings.

Finally managed to make a new account on here! Used to have one but forgot the password and for some reason google wasnt letting to start a new one...But thats all done now :)

So why did I make the account?
I thought it was about time I made a blog to show my progress in my homemade makings, for this online shop I hope to have.
I have made a thousand or more accounts with other blogging sites but they never seem to have that much activity, and I always end up landing right back here. So I am here to give it a go :)

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I havent been able to plant anything right now, because of the weather and the wind. That wind is so strong it is nearly breaking the trees in half, plus it isnt ready for the herbs I have got to be planted yet.
I am trying not to rush into things with this online shop, I did this a few years ago and thought it was going to be easy making the candles and getting the site set up..I didnt realise the work that went into it and everything started failing, I didnt have any tools or anything like that for the gardening..Didnt even have the herbs!
So I am gonna try and take it easy this time. I dont want to stress over it, I have already done enough that..