Moving

I have decided that I am moving my blog over to wordpress - http://witchuptheroad.wordpress.com/
So if you wish to continue to read my blog, then please follow the link to the new blog
Thank you for all who have followed me or who have made comments :)

What I will be doing for Lent

When Lent comes around I often don't do anything, but this year I thought I should at least give it a go and see how it goes for the next 40 days.

What I am hoping to do:

• Pray
  I already pray each morning, but normally I rush through it and don't take that much time to think about what I am saying or praying about. I am also hoping to start praying at night as well.
• Meditate
  I used to love to meditate nearly every other day and then once the headaches started I couldn't focus myself to meditate, I couldn't sit still for long and just felt agitated. I am hoping to get back into meditating, even if that means doing Tai Chi each day, which I have found to be just like meditating.
• Give up sugar
  In my coffee, I am not going to go crazy and stop myself from having all types of sugared food because I like to take things slow which helps me to get used to one change and then I can add another change when I'm ready.
  I only have 1 teaspoon of sugar in my coffee, when a couple of years ago I didn't even have sugar in my tea or coffee but since changing to decaff I have found that adding the sugar makes it taste better. To help me get closer to having no sugar in my coffee I am going to change to sweetener as well.

Now I know what I am normally like when I tell myself I am going to be doing something similar to this, I normally fail within a week/2 weeks. Hopefully that wont happen this time and I can actually succeed.

Pretty little smudge sticks

They may not look the best but darn it they do they work very well.
Never have I made smudge sticks before and I have always wanted to but was slightly nervous to (not sure why, but that's just me..I get nervous for no reason at times).
The smudge stick is just simply sage from my garden pot, wanted to keep it simple but maybe next time I will add another herb to it. When wrapping the thread round the bundle, I'll sing and hum to it while thinking of the meaning why I am making these.

Versatile Blogger Award

I have seen these blog awards going round on other blogs and never received one until now. Thank you to witch of howling creek for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award *big grin*

Here are the associated rules:

• Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post
• Share 7 things about yourself
• Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs you enjoy reading
• Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award

Seven things about me:

1. I love to write poetry and stories but never finish the stories which I have started
2. I love marmite
3. I get upset, sometimes cry, every time the licker gets killed in Resident Evil (film)
4. Gambit and Beast are my favourite characters from x-men
5. Beatlejuice, Lion King and the Lost Boys are a few of my favourite films
6. I couldn't watch any of the older series of Sherlock Holmes due to Jeremy Brett, I was always scared of him
7. I have another blog which is focused on beauty/books/health and weight (yay shameless plugging)

15 blogs:

1. Annika Garratt
2. Sy Calaelen
3. Black Fur, Black Wing
4. In The Arms of Mother Earth
5. Ivy on the Path
6. Leafshade
7. Lily Oak
8. Nefaeria
9. Priestess of Aset-Nuit
10. The Path of an Austrailian Solitary Witch
11. Wandering Soul
12. My Mommy The Pagan Warrior
13. Wandering in the Woods
14. Alison Leigh Lilly
15. Mind Body Spirit Odyssey

Fear

Around 2 in the morning I had the urge to do a reading for myself.
I have often talked about how I normally feel lost or stuck within my path, I was having that same feeling but this time it was confusion of how I could move forward with my path when these headaches I have had for so many years have put a halt on what I can do.

So with having the feeling of needing to do a reading I thought it would be a good time to see what I should be doing among all of this.
Basically the cards told me I needed to face up to my fears, to learn not to let my fear control me and remember that there are people around me who I can trust and ask for support.
The cards also mentioned my ancestors, that there was something that I hadn't done that was connected to them.
Two of my grandparents died when I was either not born or when I was too little to actually know what was going on.
I was around 8 when my other grandparents died and I understood that I would never see them again (in the physical form) but I am not sure if I actually grieved for them, and I feel that is why I am so upset about not being able to have that connection with spirit lately.

Before the headaches started to happen I remember that I read something about fear in the book The Celtic Shaman, John Matthews he had also added a meditation which helped you to face your fears, after I had read this a couple of times I was pretty sure I knew what I was doing and went in a meditation state to do just that. I remember that I had came out of the meditation pretty quick and thought I had faced some fear. A few days after the headaches started, at first they didn't really bother me but whenever I would start and do some sort of meditation, spirit work or any other practise they would get worse. Appear around the side of my temples and then move to the front of my forehead (or the third eye area), no pain killer, herbal medicine or any type of healing could help them to stop and they could last for days on end.

I was looking back at the notes of that meditation just to see if I could find what may have gone wrong with it, and I remembered that I didn't really protect myself when in the meditation in case anything tried to harm me while in there.
There is a part of me which doesn't want to face my fears, because they are somewhat a comfort to me and I am used to them being there. I am sometimes not good with changes, I often do get panic attacks due to an appointment being changed or if something happens in my daily routine so I wouldn't know how I will be with this change.
But my fears have become my crutches and I need to learn and remember how to walk without them.
I have mentioned before about this headache in the post Spirit Work, I still believe that there may be a spirit who is around me who may be influencing the headaches as well so I still need to work on that as well.

Facing your fears can be a challenge and difficult, it can take time to deal with them, if you feel that you can not deal with them on your own you can always go and talk with someone about them to help you through it.
Fear is a natural and normal feeling we have and it is ok to admit that we do have fears.

12 Herbs Project

I have been inspired by a certain person on youtube, Pagyptsian, who has decided to work with 12 Gods and Goddesses, one for each month. This got me in the mood to do something similar but with herbs instead.
So for each month I will be working with one herb through that month, and hopefully I will be able to grow that herb and have a closer connection with it - that's if the herb doesn't die..

I have been trying to figure out which herb I should work with for each month and I don't want to work with a herb that would be difficult to grow in my area. And as I am forgetful at times and stupidly haven't actually noted anything down of what I have learnt about herbs before I think it would be best to go back to the more simple herbs.
To be honest I don't think I have really took the time to look at the simple herbs and see what they are useful for and if there is any other history with them, like basil, I don't know much about it because I see it everywhere and I have thought I knew more about it.

So these are the herbs that I am gonna work on throughout the year -

January - Basil
February - Dill
March - Chives
April - Thyme
May - Parsley
June - Oregano
July - Mint
August - Sage
September - Rosemary
October - Fennel
November - Tarragon
December - Borage

Reflection Summary

Hope you all had a lovely holiday and do have a positive, fulfilled 2012.

When I went into hibernation back in September I didn't really stay down for long, in fact that part of the year I hardly did any reflection due to wanting to make sure the holidays were just right. As me and my partner had moved into our new place, I wanted to make sure nothing was going to go wrong and that everything was going to go smoothly for our first time in the house. And it did.
I just wish I had taken the same amount of time and effort to reflect on myself, there must be a good enough reason coming my way for me to not be as focused on that as I normally am.

As I haven't really got an actual plan on what I should be focusing more on this year I thought I would take the opportunity to try and do a new/old craft each month. I have been itching to do more of my crafts but with the move it made things a little bit challenging, but now we are settled I am hoping to take more time to do some crafting. One of them is to actually make some soap! Each and every time I have tried to make soap it has failed so this time I am hoping to do actually have some success in that area.

I just wonder how long this will last before I get distracted..

New Passion: Peg Loom Weaving

On the 27th August in the town that I live, in the community center was holding a small wool event which I jumped at the chance to go. Even though it was a small event there was a lot going on there, about 4 spinning wheels were going on, felt making, weaving. It was brilliant and I am glad that I did manage to go to it as I have never been to an event like this.

After I watched a woman do a little bit of peg loom weaving I have become really interested in it. It seems very relaxing and different, I wont say easy because I am not certain on how it easy it is going to be. But they did say it was easy for the hands so that is something I am pleased about.
All I need to do now is try and get me a peg loom so I can have a go at it.

Inner Reflection

I have found that whenever I feel like I am beginning to get that disconnected feeling with my spiritual path I want to just hide away from everything. This is probably the main reason why I haven't been posting much.
I am not really sure why I get this feeling, I just feel that there is something I am supposed to be doing/learning but I haven't found what it is but it is staring right in front of me, that is what I don't like the most about feeling that way.
Plus it is starting to come to that time of year. I find that when Autumn and Winter are arriving I start to hibernate with my inner self. I start to look back at the first half of the year and see what I have managed to achieve, what I haven't managed to do and start to take notes from all that and see what I need to do for the next part of the year, until this time again.
I have been doing this only a couple of years but I do feel that it does help me in some way.

Civic Week

Every year in the borders of Scotland they have a celebration called "Civic Week". Remembering all those that died in the Battle of Flodden all the other border battles, as well as WW1 & WW2.
During that week they have little activities going on, we didn't manage to go to all the activities due to the weather but we did try to capture as much as possible (I say we, but I really mean my partner as he did most of the camera work and I just edited it all together).

Spirit work

I don't remember how or when or what age I started working with spirit, they were just always there while I was growing up..I know it started when I was a young child, I used to see people in the room that no one would talk with or notice. At that age I didn't really question myself about it because I thought it was normal.
When I was in my later teens I started to question what was happening to myself, at one point I did want to be put in a mental home because I didn't believe in myself with what I saw. At this point I couldn't see them anymore, but I could feel them around the room or when they touched me on the shoulder, hair or anywhere like that.
Sometimes I could see them for a brief moment when they were walking around or when I wasn't fully concentrating or when they decided to play a joke on me and walk right up to my face and then show their selves, or when I was about to walk out of a door they would surprise me that way. I couldn't stand when they would do that it would scare the life out of me.
I couldn't hear them speaking to me all of the time but whenever I spoke to them out loud and something happened in the room; such as an object moving or the temperature changing, then I knew that this could be them trying to answer me or trying to speak with me.

About 3 years ago I started to get a headache and the headache would happen when I would be meditating, doing some spell/ritual/healing/spirit work etc, it felt very sharp as if someone had picked up a handful of glass pieces and have just thrown them at my head. This would make me stop with whatever I was doing. The headache felt as if it was getting worse and staying for longer and I had to stop completely as I couldn't handle of the pressure and pain of it.
This meant that my spirit work was put on hold and I felt like I was losing my connection to spirit.

Now 3 years have gone by and the headache feels as if it has died down alot I feel that I can now start to get back with my practices. Doing baby steps, taking it day by day and trying not to push or force myself from doing something until I felt comfortable.
I have missed doing spirit work so much, I felt as if I was missing some part of me, I was feeling somewhat empty without having that connection. I can understand this as it has been a big part of my life for a very long time.

The frustrating part about this is I know what I can do but somehow the door is still needs to be unlocked for me to get back to spirit, I know I can do it, it is just I cant seem to do it at this moment.

A few people suggested that the headache could be because I am not grounded or I have excess energy attached to me, so I tried to get rid of that energy and tried to make sure I grounded myself - but that didn't seem to help, it somehow made the headache worse (when I was trying to figure it out, 2 years ago). Other people suggested that it could be spirit trying to tell me something or a spiritual attack. And then the obvious, need an eye test, stressed etc.
I started to talk about this more with my partner and we did some sort of meditation where he would ask me what I saw, what I felt with what I saw etc. I found that there was this black hole that was basically sucking most of the positive down the hole. When I came out of the meditation we remembered of a spirit that was getting closer to me which wasn't that nice, he had a lot of negative upon himself and we feel that it could be him.
Trying to get close to me but while doing that he is bringing more negative into myself and making me feel low etc.

So our mission now is to try and help this spirit.

Monday Memories: Sage Bundle

This is my first time in making a sage bundle, pleased that my sage has managed to stay alive and grow for me to make this.
The only problem is, I forgot to put a paper bag around it and find a more dry place for it to be in and within that time it has pretty much shrivelled up, oops.
Guess that is my lesson that I needed to know, at least I have more sage to work on :)

Happy Solstice

Whether you are celebrating the summer or winter solstice, I hope you all have a wonderful day doing so!

New Passion: Knitting

I have started to feel a craving for knitting and as I had found 2 sets of knitting needles for just a £1 I know that this was a good time to start this hobby again, I used to be able to knit when I was younger but not sure why I stopped doing it. There is a slight problem that I have found with leaving it for long, I can not remember how to cast on or to actually knit, my mum did teach me again the other day but somehow my fingers are not working with the needles that well.
I feel this will take me a while until I actually get used to it all over again..

Monday Memories: Sage

Normally when it comes to me and herbs they end up dying for some reason (lack of sun/water or too much sun/rain, or the puppy trying to eat it). So I am very happy to see that this little herb is still going and growing strong :)

Back to basics

What I have found frustrating about myself when it comes to my path is when I hear about a subject that I have never heard of before and get really excited to learn more about it. Now that doesn't really sound like a bad thing, but I end up leaving the other subjects I was trying to learn more on and spend as much time as I can on this one subject..Until a few weeks later when I start to get stuck on where I go next from there.
As well I am not just focusing on one subject, I try to focus on so many that I end up not really interested in it because I can't seem to find any more information on the subjects.
I believe that this is why I have been feeling lost, stuck and disconnected from my path. As I was talking about this to my partner, he ended up telling me to close my eyes and pick out a colour with a subject, no second guessing, just the first colour and subject that came to my mind. So I did just that, about 3 times until I started to feel like I was second guessing myself.
Green - herbs, purple - cosmology and blue - Gods.
These will be the subjects that I will be focusing on for now, until I feel comfortable with what I know about each of them and even learn how to involve them in my practice.

Monday Memories: Cowslip

Mandarin Jam

A few weeks ago I noticed that I had a few mandarins left and saw they were going a bit more soft then what I like them to be, so once again I went searching to find a recipe that would be good to use them in - Mandarin Jam.

Ingredients
5-6 Mandarin oranges
3 cups of water
4 ½ cups of sugar


Directions
Peel mandarins, keeping pieces of the peel as large as possible, then set aside.
Cut mandarins in half cross ways, pick out the seeds.
Blend fruit to make 2 cups of pulp, pour into a wide saucepan, add water.
Slice the peel very thinly to make about ½ a cup, add the peel and sugar to the pulp in the pan.
Stir over a medium heat until sugar is dissolved, turn heat to high and boil rapidly while stirring frequently until the jell point is reached. This should take about 40 minutes.
Remove marmalade from heat at once and then bottle.

Banana Bread

Sometimes I have a few bananas that have gone a bit brown and I know I wont eat them, so I have thought instead of throwing them away why don't I find a recipe to use them in and I did just that - Banana Bread.

Ingredients
2 - 3 ripe bananas
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
50g butter or margarine
100g caster sugar
275g self-raising flour
½ tsp ground cinnamon or mixed (apple pie) spice (optional)
1 egg
A little oil or extra butter for greasing

Directions
Grease a 2lb loaf tin, cut a piece of non-stick baking parchment to fit the base of the tin and place it in the bottom.
Preheat the oven to 180°c/350°f/gas mark 4.
Mash the bananas up with the back of a fork or place them into the food processor.
Add all the ingredients into the bowl and mix well.
Pour into the prepared loaf tin.
Bake in the oven for about 50 minutes until risen and golden and a skewer (or a sharp knife) inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Cool slightly, remove from the tin, take off the paper and leave to cool on a wire rack.

Rocky Road

Sometimes after dinner I like to have a little dessert but some times we don't have anything in to satisfy us, and I noticed we had chocolate, marshmallows and some M&Ms in, so I thought I would find out what I could make. Which was Rocky Road. I have never made this before so even though I did make a little mistake by not estimating the amount I needed for the filling (I added way to much and so the chocolate didn't really coat the top of it all), it still turned out alright and for only one mistake I think that is pretty good for first time making ;)

I found the recipe from SortedFood, although I didn't really go with what they said for their filling. I know it is OK to change it to what you like and want (this is just what we had in at the time).

Ingredients
300g plain chocolate
120g butter
30g golden syrup
150g digestive biscuits
handful of mini marshmallows
handful of M&Ms

Directions:
crack the chocolate into pieces and stick in a heat-proof bowl with the butter and syrup.
melt this over a pan of simmering water until smooth and glossy.
crumble the biscuits into small pieces and stir into the marshmallows and M&Ms (or your desired filling).
pour all of these into the melted chocolate mixture and stir to combine and coat.
line a rectangular cake tin with cling film.
transfer the rocky road to the lined tin and leave to set up in the fridge for a couple of hours.
tip out onto a board and cut into chunky squares.