Understanding why

Was going to make a video about this but the words just wouldn't come out, so maybe sometime later, I dunno.
Anyways if you watch my YouTube channel you will know that I have gone for a bit. I was feeling depressed that I couldn't make certain videos, that I couldn't do my divination or meditation anymore..Everything around me was telling me to stop, so I did. I will be back to making videos in January, but hopefully my usual day to day things will happen on or after winter solstice.

Right on to what this entry was actually about..

I feel that I know why everything was stopping me, especially with making videos...I was trying too hard to be someone that I am not. I saw every ones videos and how good they were, managing to make to record them and be so good at it. I just wanted to look like that. But I am different from them, it takes me a bit more time to understand things, I say things differently to what other people would say and that confuses people. I am not slow I am just awkward lol!
So yea, I think I might go back to basics and just start from there really.