It has been..

8 months since I last had a panic attack, *cheers*!
Even though it does feel amazing i still cant relax properly, in the back of my mind i am still waiting to have a panic attack - i know that its unhealthy to do so, but i just cant help it. i have to keep myself doing things in a certain order, otherwise i feel as if i may have an attack.

for example, Christmas is about 5 months away and people are not really thinking about that yet (who would want to really? It is still summer), but for me i know i have to get things sorted out before then. otherwise at the beginning of December i will start to worry about things, which could lead me to having an attack. so i have to make a list of who i am buying presents for, what i am getting them, how much is it gonna be in total, actually buy the presents, and so much more. I have already started the list..*cringes*

but this is just one of the things i have to do, to help me stop having a panic attack..it may seem a little freaky or obsessive but for me it does help.

Apart from that i am really happy that i haven't had one for this long, not even any small attacks. lets hope it stays that way ;)