I don't remember how or when or what age I started working with spirit, they were just always there while I was growing up..I know it started when I was a young child, I used to see people in the room that no one would talk with or notice. At that age I didn't really question myself about it because I thought it was normal.
When I was in my later teens I started to question what was happening to myself, at one point I did want to be put in a mental home because I didn't believe in myself with what I saw. At this point I couldn't see them anymore, but I could feel them around the room or when they touched me on the shoulder, hair or anywhere like that.
Sometimes I could see them for a brief moment when they were walking around or when I wasn't fully concentrating or when they decided to play a joke on me and walk right up to my face and then show their selves, or when I was about to walk out of a door they would surprise me that way. I couldn't stand when they would do that it would scare the life out of me.
I couldn't hear them speaking to me all of the time but whenever I spoke to them out loud and something happened in the room; such as an object moving or the temperature changing, then I knew that this could be them trying to answer me or trying to speak with me.
About 3 years ago I started to get a headache and the headache would happen when I would be meditating, doing some spell/ritual/healing/spirit work etc, it felt very sharp as if someone had picked up a handful of glass pieces and have just thrown them at my head. This would make me stop with whatever I was doing. The headache felt as if it was getting worse and staying for longer and I had to stop completely as I couldn't handle of the pressure and pain of it.
This meant that my spirit work was put on hold and I felt like I was losing my connection to spirit.
Now 3 years have gone by and the headache feels as if it has died down alot I feel that I can now start to get back with my practices. Doing baby steps, taking it day by day and trying not to push or force myself from doing something until I felt comfortable.
I have missed doing spirit work so much, I felt as if I was missing some part of me, I was feeling somewhat empty without having that connection. I can understand this as it has been a big part of my life for a very long time.
The frustrating part about this is I know what I can do but somehow the door is still needs to be unlocked for me to get back to spirit, I know I can do it, it is just I cant seem to do it at this moment.
A few people suggested that the headache could be because I am not grounded or I have excess energy attached to me, so I tried to get rid of that energy and tried to make sure I grounded myself - but that didn't seem to help, it somehow made the headache worse (when I was trying to figure it out, 2 years ago). Other people suggested that it could be spirit trying to tell me something or a spiritual attack. And then the obvious, need an eye test, stressed etc.
I started to talk about this more with my partner and we did some sort of meditation where he would ask me what I saw, what I felt with what I saw etc. I found that there was this black hole that was basically sucking most of the positive down the hole. When I came out of the meditation we remembered of a spirit that was getting closer to me which wasn't that nice, he had a lot of negative upon himself and we feel that it could be him.
Trying to get close to me but while doing that he is bringing more negative into myself and making me feel low etc.
So our mission now is to try and help this spirit.
Monday, 11 July 2011
The only problem is, I forgot to put a paper bag around it and find a more dry place for it to be in and within that time it has pretty much shrivelled up, oops.
Guess that is my lesson that I needed to know, at least I have more sage to work on :)