Understanding why

Was going to make a video about this but the words just wouldn't come out, so maybe sometime later, I dunno.
Anyways if you watch my YouTube channel you will know that I have gone for a bit. I was feeling depressed that I couldn't make certain videos, that I couldn't do my divination or meditation anymore..Everything around me was telling me to stop, so I did. I will be back to making videos in January, but hopefully my usual day to day things will happen on or after winter solstice.

Right on to what this entry was actually about..

I feel that I know why everything was stopping me, especially with making videos...I was trying too hard to be someone that I am not. I saw every ones videos and how good they were, managing to make to record them and be so good at it. I just wanted to look like that. But I am different from them, it takes me a bit more time to understand things, I say things differently to what other people would say and that confuses people. I am not slow I am just awkward lol!
So yea, I think I might go back to basics and just start from there really.

Typical me

Why is it when its spring/summer or autumn I never feel the urge to order the ingredients or the containers I need, and I don't feel up to making anything. But when winter comes along and everything is closing for Christmas, I get the energy to do things? It is so frustrating!
So I'm sitting here trying to get my mind away from it, but its not working at all, lol.

In a previous entry I told you that I had made the bath bombs, but I never showed any photos..So I'm going to show you them now lol.

Sorry if the photos are not the best quality, they were taken by a web cam..But as you can see they are not the full ball size, like you see in shops. These are just little mini bath bombs, which I kind of like better than the normal size.

So what you think? Did I make a good job of them? :P

Winter Solstice

So before I start going on about 2010 I really should make a post about winter solstice. I haven't made a blog about the festivals in ages so I thought I should make this one :P

I haven't really got anything planned, just meditation (hopefully), lighting some incense, giving thanks to the land for all the warmth and food it has offered to us. Also putting back into the ground the acorns and conkers from Samhain. I normally celebrate winter solstice on the 21st December or when the full moon is (which I think is on the 31st December), so I think I will be celebrating at both times..If that makes any sense.

I do also celebrate Christmas (you should all know when that is), why? Because of my parents, my family. They have always celebrated it and I did when I was little and so it still stays. To me Christmas is a time to be thankful for those who are alive, like your family, friends, neighbours etc.

But anyways, in case I am not on here for winter solstice or Christmas (and if anyone reads this) I hope you all have a wonderful day :) Also I hope you all have a wonderful New Year. :)

Goals for 2010

So its nearly a new year, cant believe it. Time has gone by so fast it doesn't feel like it should be the end of the year, only the beginning.
I know I ain't done that much this year, only learning, researching and finally starting to understand who I am.
So what I am hoping will happen in 2010:

• Find and understand even more about myself
• Start making more body scrubs, bath bombs, bath oils
• Learn how to make soap, body lotion, herbal teas
• Learn Ogham, rune, I ching divination
• Understand more about my path
• And finally get my herbalism course finished!

There is thousand more things that I want to achieve, but I feel like I should start small..Ok the list doesn't seem small, but believe you me this is a small list!
I have chosen these things because I feel these take up the most energy, and I want to get these "out of the way" so I can restore my energy and feel better about myself, instead of regretting that I never did these.

My favourite book at the moment

Shamanism by Leo Rutherford
My partner got me this book a few months back, and I put it on the pile with the other books that I had to read. But that same week I couldn't stop thinking about that book, so stopped reading a Edain McCoy book and got stuck in with this one. And I can not put this book down! For people who want a brief introduction to shamanism then I really do suggest this book, it isn't that heavy to read. He has put it into nice little paragraphs so you don't feel like you are reading an essay.
So yes this book is an amazingly good book to read! :)